Tears Of Fire Photography.....Rock Will Never Die

It is so easy to let the mind wander back into space…….

Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Nature, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

To quote the title of a Ministry album “The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste”” and it really can be so true. Of course everybody is different and depression and mental health problems hit and affect people in widely different ways.For me I started putting this particular post together before Christmas 2022, and never made it to the end. My productivity just stops, disappears and this time around it took many months before I managed to get anything going at all. Unfortunately there is no magic switch, people deal with it in very different ways depending on what type of treatment they are on or if they decide to try and work through it themselves, what I always did myself until it became too much. Now I am on prescribed medication, but I would prefer to not increase the dosage beyond what I am on, so kind of a vicious circle, but in my head if I can’t work through it (even with help from meds) myself in some way it is pointless just numbing everything with meds…….. we will get there 🙂

So let me fill you in on some of the stuff I’ve been doing the last 8 months. Well I decided it was time to leave the day job and take a break, that’s extended quite a bit past what I had planned but at the same time my head hasn’t been in the right place for work anyway, so I’ll get back in shape a little and go find something less stressful to do.

I did manage to get to some festivals/gigs between August and November 2022, which were good, but the work on photo was very slow afterwards for the Festivals. There was HRH Sleaze in Sheffield at the end of August and Indoor Summer 2022 in Hamburg at the start of September, and gig wise I covered both Sepultura and Amorphis in Dublin around November time, which was awesome. Have a lot of plans this year, have started off really badly, but managed to shoot HRH Blues in Sheffield a couple of weeks back and I’m off to Uprising in Leicester next week, fingers crossed.

Photos are always a bit subjective, and for me this is definitely one of them, I both love it and don’t at the same time, I love that I managed to get a jump shot (something oddly I have had problems with over the last couple of years) but at the same time it’s not as clean as I’d like etc…….. anyway, it’s Christmas week (was when I typed this), so we will go with the love side of things 🙂

Was great to get away and catch up with friends and colleagues, and the same was true at Indoor Summer in Hamburg, my first time visiting Germany and loved the Festival and atmosphere.

Lee Aaron closing out the Indoor Summer 2022 Festival.

It’s amazing being able to catch up with friends from all across Europe, including Ireland, when you travel to an event like this one, already looking forward to Sept 2023.

We now have a standing visit to Dublin Zoo on or about the 29th of December each year, it is usually not crazy busy and we seem to have luck with the weather. Also it is certainly one of the places to see if you visit Dublin.

Every time I get the chance to shoot a band that I’m a massive fan of it is a real privilege, and that holds through when shotting them for the 2nd, 3rd or whatever time. I’ve been listening to and going to see Sepultura for more than 30 years, so getting to shot them in my home time was something a bit special for me, similar with Amorphis and I’m forever grateful to Metal Planet Music (or whichever organisation I’m shooting on behalf of) for the opportunity to do so.

2023 for me didn’t start well, I just couldn’t get my head working, so the first 3 months were a bust, nada, nothing missed a lot of gigs. So as April started I was slapping myself saying right lets just do this, and I was determined to get going, and I have at least gotten started. Another trip to Sheffield this time for HRH Blues has helped immensely, ok, didn’t help my bum knee, but that’s a different issue 😉 Two days, 15 bands on a single stage, so not so much running around as usual. But getting to see new bands to me, working with friends and trying to get back into the swing of things was brilliant. Hard work, but brilliant. Tested out some new travel routes and will try that again next week for Uprising in Leicester. will just mean less working around and train time.

The Bad Day – HRH Blues VII, O2 Academy – 09-04-2023

Alongside that we managed to get a break in last week to Donegal, this time Carrickfinn, Donegal. Just beside the Airport, beautiful Beaches, stunning landscapes, all you could want, add to that it’s not too far from a lot of other places to visit and it’s hard to beat, the Wild Atlantic Way really is a stunning Below are a couple of shots from the wonderful Killahoey Beach, Dunfanaghy, Co. Donegal.

Wish me well with getting back on the horse and getting out and about a lot more, Have gotten a couple of album reviews written, but have 2 more to finish today, if possible. Nearly there, but as I have found out the problem now is that last little bot a paragraph or two that become impossible to drag out of the recesses of the mind.

Hope you all have a brilliant Spring/Summer, and whatever helps you with any problems make use of it, life is too short to live on the couch when you can be up and about…..

A little change from the music photography………

Depression, Health, Mental Health, Nature, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

Just a quick post with some photos of a wonderful visit we recently had to the Wild Ireland sanctuary in Burnfoot, Co. Donegal. It’s the second time we have visited in 2 years and loved the many additional animals we managed to see this around along with the Wolves and Bears. Also managed to catch some informational talks from the staff on the animals and work being done on the habitats.

Artic Fox – Wild Ireland – Burnfoot, Co. Donegal. Ireland

This time around we were very lucky with the weather and managed to get around for the whole day without even getting wet, definitely unusual for October, with a lot of sunshine. I don’t ever remember seeing a Golden Pheasant before, but they are beautify and the ridiculously cute Artic Fox.

Golden Pheasant – Wild Ireland – Burnfoot, Co. Donegal. Ireland

There are so many places to take in when visiting Ireland, especially when you travel out towards the Western Coastline, but I think this place is now on our list when we go to Donegal. It wasn’t far from our base in Carndonagh either so not a million miles from Malin Head. If you are checking out the Wild Atlantic way, especially in the North West of the country then definitely check it out. There were a lot more animals than I have put in this post, but didn’t want top overload it. A nice walk among nature certainly does a lot for your mental wellbeing, keeps the head straight and brings better thoughts into the mind. And this is certainly the kind of thing that brings you out of a Depression funk.

more photos below, keep safe and enjoy the many holiday seasons ahead.

Snowy Owl – Wild Ireland – Burnfoot, Co. Donegal. Ireland

Some productivity at last……

Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

Well would you believe it, after attending and shooting the Indoor Summer 2022 Festival in Hamburg in September it’s been pretty much nothing working in my head since, have not been able to get the head working at all, have struggled to both get up and moving and also to get anything finished, but fingers crossed these last few days will help me get back on track again and out of the Depression hole again. One day at a time as they say.

I am still working through photographs from the last couple of Festivals I have attended and when I can’t write it just means there is no chance of getting reviews done, so going to try and blast through a few things for the rest of the week, a bit of luck will definitely be needed, but keep getting a walk in daily and that will help things. Last week I managed to get out to a show I’d been looking forward to since 2020, Sepultura with support from Sacred Reich and Crowbar, and as I had also been asked if I’d shoot the show I think it helped to push me out the door. Terrific show with all three bands on top form, and when asked to write a review which wasn’t planned I managed to get it finished and the photos turned around in not too bad a timeframe.

Here is the link to the Review with my Photos (or click the photo below) – Sepultura – Academy, Dublin – 03-11-2022

So today I’m going to try and blast through a Festival Review and post a Gallery later this evening. Just keep aiming to do as much as I can with the world is working inside my head and may even get more stuff done and feel a little better about the creative side of things. And tomorrow maybe go look at a new camera if I can get a good deal on it.

Aside from that have a quick trip over to Nottingham, which is a very familiar journey for me, next week to see Soul Asylum/Everclear and mark one more off my Bucket List, and hopefully shoot another show or two before the end of the month.

Maybe a sunny November is just when I need in this crazy brain of mine :-).

Stay safe out there and try to bring a smile to your face when you can.

One of these days life will balance out…..

AOR, Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

After having a brilliant time on my first trip to Hamburg last month and returning in a good frame of mind to get stuff done and get back on the gig scene with a vengeance, well things have not turned out as I had hoped, too many spanners in the works. Now I’m trying to get rid of my second bout of flu/bad cold in a month, and it’s really stopped me getting away on a couple of trips to gigs in the UK. It’s also held me back from getting back on the exercise trail.

Toxic Rose at Indoor Summer 2022, Hamburg, Germany

Sadly it’s snowballed a bit and joined in with the batch of depression that hit since I finished up in my job, this was supposed to be a nice relaxing time getting everything back in order and working on the returning the brain to where it should be. Not concerned that I won’t get there, but would have preferred not to have this added delay.

So I’m setting a little goal for this week – finish the next Section of my Photoshop Course, finish and submit a couple of reviews and catch up as much as I can with outstanding photos etc…….

Just when you thing that the balance should be returning your head has a habit of setting you straight on that, need to get out with the camera and get some shots of nature while the weather is still ok out there.

Travel plans are being made for some trips next year, fingers crossed things run more smoothly with a new start in the new year. We can but hope, start with the Mental Health improvements and work forward from there. You have to look after yourself and keep working on small improvements. So take care out there.

Changing the pace of life…… sort of

AOR, Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

Having worked pretty much non stop for the last 34 years my mind had turned a lot since my health issues, the additional depression and the pandemic towards slowing things down, stepping away from the kind of work I have done in IT for more than 20 of those years and then working out if it would be feasible to do it and still be able to live and pay bills. When things change or an opportunity comes your way to enable this it definitely should ensure you give it the respectful consideration it deserves. For some people these decisions are easy, mark my words it wasn’t so easy for me, having worked in the same company for 19 years being part of the furniture can have it’s drawbacks, and in reality the thing I miss the most already is the people, the friends I have made over the years.

For me the opportunity presented itself this year and after assessing it many times I made the decision to step back from the job, and take a break from working altogether, a big step but the right one for me I think, also having a young child with additional needs it’s nice to be around the house more for him, and although I haven’t done enough of it, help out more. So right now I finished work one month ago and I am still trying to get my head around it, can be very easy to just get lazy and do nothing, far too much sitting around the house. Todays task is to draw up a schedule for the week to get my walking back on point, and just actually do some stuff with my time. It’s a trap I think a lot of people that retire fall into, thinking you can start doing stuff next week, that’s how Depression takes hold rapidly, and I am trying not to disappear back into that rabbit hole. So please be careful if you are in this situation or approaching it.

So for the moment I am semi-retired, taking a few months off and working on getting fit and my Photography, going to take some courses around Media and Design which should help with post processing of photographs, layouts for the website etc, well it should, so keep an eye open to some changes here in the next couple of months. Something that has been important this year has certainly been returning to the Photo Pit and getting to shoot some Gigs and Festivals, the recent dip has meant things have been a bit up and down, I had a brilliant week covering Festivals in the UK and Germany (for the first time) and then this week my head has not been right and I have ended up being at home with a couple of gigs I was really looking forward to passing me by. Got to try and get back on the horse next week and work on getting the consistency back in my mind, there is still a lot to come this year.

Alongside the dip into depression has come a lovely bout of insomnia :-). what else would you need when you are not feeling great, it is always the way though isn’t it.

Today I got my 2nd booster of the Covid vaccine, so that is out of the way, have sorted out a doctors appointment and all good there, next us is to organise some of my music trips for next year, as I think everything else this year is sorted out now. Can’t do anything about delays and flight cancellations, all I can do is have everything booked, show up on time to the Airport and pray, 3 – 4 hour queues to get into security at an Airport means they have to delay flights until people get through. I do find it crazy that Airports that have not enough staff to operate at full capacity are not passing information to passengers, for example in Hamburg Airport on the way back I was checked in, bag dropped and then had to leave the Airport to join the queue for security, they new I could not make that flight with the further delays getting through the security gates, but I knew there were a lot more people behind me in the queue that also could not make it, the PA announces Final Call for our flight and I start asking people is there anyway to fast track through security and no, just stay in the queue, although I was pretty sure the plane would be waiting as if we were not there they would have to remove all the luggage for people missing the flight anyway, but you stress as there is 1 flight a day from the Airline to Dublin, so you would need to rebook, if seats available, for the following day and also try and get a hotel for the night. Nothing seems to have changed in a year, certainly Airports around Europe are still struggling with both staffing levels and just coping with the surge of people wanting to travel as pandemic restrictions lifted with 3 years worth of travelling being squashed into 1 year, fingers crossed the situation changes as the current situation is good for nobody.

Maverick – Indoor Summer 2022 – Markthalle, Hamburg

As for the music itself, well that certainly made me feel a lot better, getting to meet up with friends I haven’t seen in so long, which was awesome. Getting to see bands and musicians you know as well and of course catching new bands or some you have wanted to catch for a long time. Getting to Photography both events was a real honour, and working in the Photo Pit with friends old and new always makes it an easier and more fun experience. With a couple of remaining Festivals this year having been postponed until next year I’m hoping to shoot some shows at home in the last quarter of the year, and definitely need to get gig fit, there’s more effort involved than a lot of people realise, you certainly ramp up a lot of steps during a Festival, 2 stages on 2 floors for 2 days means plenty of running around. Plenty or editing and work to do afterwards too, and if Reviewing a Fest it gets to be pretty tiring all in all.

Core Leoni – Indoor Summer 2022 – Markthalle, Hamburg

As time moves on we go from pandemic to recessions and economic problems, the energy crisis and continued threats of power hungry leaders creating misery and loss of life in places they just shouldn’t be. All we can do is help where we can and keep ourselves as sane as possible. Stay safe, talk to people is you need help or a chat and don’t stick your head in the sand.

Getting a break to save some sanity, but everyone has the same idea.

Depression, Health, Mental Health, Nature, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

Well 2022 seems to be the great escape for most people, if they can and especially with the costs rising as they are both for flights, accommodation and anything else you need for spending money has to be recalculated, inflation everywhere is so much fun. For us it was another staycation, but this time in the South West of Ireland, Kerry to be precise, as we continue to explore the stunning Wild Atlantic Way and the Coastline on the opposite side of the Country to where we live. But holidays and trips away at the moment are much more than just a vacation, they really can be therapeutic.

Portmagee, County Kerry on the Wild Atlantic Way

Beautiful peaceful place, but perhaps when you are feeling down that is not enough, I know that even during the depths I was in last year getting out and checking out the local scenery around my walking routes did a lot of good, and the same has to be said about being on a trip away, getting out to parks, gardens etc provides additional help without doing anything else. One big additional bonus on this trip was nighttime, the area we stayed in is a Dark Sky Preserve, what this means is that there is a lot less light pollution and the Night Sky should be more visible. While we have beautiful weather a lot during the daytime, nights were often quite cloudy, one night I noticed the Moon being bright and visible so took a walk outside around midnight and wow, what an amazing sight, spirits were lifted immediately, the whole Sky was fully illuminated with stars, constellations and sheer beauty,I had never seen so much clarity above me and the brightness of the illumination was just amazing.

View of Valentia Island from Portmagee Cottage

Sadly I have no Night Sky photos with the exception of a couple of shots of the moon, will pus one below. But there are photos here around Valentia, Kerry Cliffs and the Beaches.

One of the many stunning views from the Kerry Cliffs.

Times to reflect and sit out in the evening sunshine, just putting your feet up and watching life pass by, boats on the lake beside us, cars climbing hills on the Island opposite, this was just what we needed. Don’t get me wrong we always have our struggles, and we are never sure that plans will ever be what the little guy wants to do or if it’s just going to be one of those days, but the 10 minutes of joy can make up for anything else when away on a trip. The Kerry Cliffs were simply beautiful to check out from different angles and we would definitely recommend them for the small entrance fee, it’s well worth it. Plenty of islands to check out other than the Skelligs and I’m sure the many species of birds to be spotted around the Cliffs adds to any visit.

After getting back we were already looking at organising trips for next year and the area we were in this time around remains very much in our thoughts, alongside a return to Donegal next Easter.

But please remember, you don’t need to get away far, but a break anywhere can do wonders for the mind, your mental health or just to get a rest and fresh air, even if you can only afford or take a day trip somewhere then do it. We all need it, we have rolled into September now but the weather is still decent and perhaps last minute deals are looking better than they were. From the time I started writing this to the time I finished it there’s no doubt I got caught up in my own head for a while, and then all of a sudden some Festival Trips took over. Please remember to keep the mind active, get out of the house get some fresh air, enjoy your surroundings if you can or take a trip to the nearest park or green area.

Why’s it so hard to just get out of the house these days ?

AOR, Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Nature, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

Well it’s been a while since I posted, so here’s a little update on the oddities of life in 2022. Although many have been saying that the Covid Pandemic is over, and don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for it to be finished, it’s definitely not and is still affecting life in general.

Over the last couple of weeks a few more gigs or Tours have been cancelled because band members have contracted the virus, have seen the same across Europe and the US, it doesn’t take much for smaller bands to have to cancel or postpone things when a date or two are going to be missed out on. There’s bound to be some issues for venues too with regards to staffing.

This week sees the start for me of getting back on the train with regards to going to and shooting gigs, tomorrow night I have Dark Tranquility making their very long awaited Irish debut. Then at the weekend I have a trip planned to the HRH Blues Festival in Sheffield, all going well, with Bernie Marsden and Wilko Johnson Headlining each night.

Between working from home full time, health issues and the added problem of Depression over the last 10 months it really has been a messy couple of years, and it’s taken a toll psychologically. I did get away to the Uprising Festival in Leicester last year, but that was it, and have struggled to get the motivation to get out to things locally over the last couple of months. Leaving the house isn’t a problem, still walking regularly, and building up the distances again to 10km a walk, so that’s good, but for sanity and the soul I need to get back to gigs. Photographing tomorrow night and at the weekend, so that should be motivation enough, and a lot of additional work to do, but it’s worth it.

Hasn’t just been a lack of motivation with regards to getting out and about, it’s massively affected writing anything, review wise, for so long now. it’s a real struggle to finish things off, and you’d thing that would be the easy bit sometimes. But I’m trying to work on it from a different perspective and we will see how it goes.

This could well be the last year I’ll be able to do multiple UK Festivals, even for individual shows it’s getting more and more expensive to travel and get accommodation in the UK from here. At the moment I think travel anywhere is expensive, but it eventually reaches a line where it becomes just too much. Checking prices for later in the year and it’s much more than usual, when it starts costing as much as a family holiday it really would be too much. The cost of living generally is going to make things more difficult anyway, so when you have additional costs for everything travelling becomes less fun. So I’ll go out with a bang this year and hit as much as I can, along with the Indoor Summer Festival in Hamburg which I’m looking forward to immensely, will hopefully be a very exciting and interesting few months ahead. With gigs still getting announced every week it looks like you won’t be able to walk out of the house without hitting one, and it’s great to see pictures of full venues for shows with small or large capacities.

Not too long now until the outdoor Festival season either, so bring it on. Bloodstock for sure, maybe a day or two here and there aside from that…. would love to get over and bit a farewell to KISS at Download, even if it was just for the Friday night. Aside from all that we will be doing another staycation this year, trying the beautiful South West this time around to cover off another part of the Wild Atlantic Way. There will be day trips here and there and I need to get back to the Botanic Gardens soon.

Wishing you all a very happy, interesting and safe year to come, and Rock it .

Getting over Covid, well at least this time around….. and a World gone mad…..

Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

After being very careful over the last couple of years, taking every precaution we could, pretty much keeping ourselves to ourselves it finally happened a few weeks ago, and we are pretty sure where it came from, but it is what it is. The whole family contracted Covid, it affects different people in different ways, but we were glad that were had been vaccinated and boosted as I’m certain the affects were nowhere near as bad as they could have been. Still, personally it knocked me out of commission for a week with one or two additional problems the following week. Recovering from anything takes time, but I guess we won’t know until the proper research into long Covid has been carried out if this is going to be a problem further down the road. It’s been frustrating, but what can you do, I can see both sides of the argument regarding opening things back up fully, but following the case figures here and in the UK it has to be said that their cases come down significantly whenever there is a change in restrictions coming that week, here the numbers are still kind of high, and I’m happy to have a hybrid working environment in place for the significant future.

It entered the house through our son, who picked it up at school, there is definitely a lot of cases floating around all schools and educational facilities. My sister-in-law has contracted it twice in 7 weeks and her pre-school now has cases among the staff again, so not looking good….. some of the numbers don’t seem to be adding up, but it’s certainly still out there, can see a point soon where if Companies have all of their employees back in Offices or Businesses they will start to lose Employees for chunks of time every few months, won’t be good for continuity of business and that’s for sure. As with everything else in the Pandemic time will tell.

For me the effects were lack of sleep, being blocked up badly for a few days and really bad headaches for a week, no loss of smell or taste like the older variants, and a bit of a relapse a week or so after it had appeared to be gone, which was a bit annoying. Let’s hope Omicron is the last of the major variants, it’s certainly been more virulent but I’m sure it’s a lot less dangerous to those who have been vaccinated. With all Govt guidance now pointing to all restrictions been lifted imminently, it will be interesting to see how things go, the changes in peoples attitudes and actions, will we see a large spike again in cases or hospitalisations (hopefully not), for me I still intend to continue wearing a facemask in certain circumstances, public transport, busy shopping areas and Health Venues such as hospitals, doctors etc…… in my mind it’s just a logical thing, having only had one cold in 2 years there appear to be definite benefits to it.

Our little man has been suffering at times from a condition I’d not heard of before he first had it, Cycllical Vomiting Syndrome, luckily it’s not a severe case of it, but at the same time when you add in his autism and the fact that he’s non verbal it makes things a lot more difficult. He continues to vomit and wretch until he goes to a state where he could damage himself, tears in the asophagus or even worse the stomach lining. It’s a very draining and worrying situation for us all as you can imagine, and requires a trip to hospital as he’s also very dehydrated by the end of it. Fingers crossed he grows out of it and we’ve now been prescribed some anti-nausea medication that will hopefully mean we can at least rehydrate him so an episode won’t lead to a hospital trip again. It’s a week since it happened and I’m still really tired, just getting too old, thankfully he bounces back quickly. Thankfully for me even being over exhausted it didn’t lead to an episode of my Epilepsy, and I remembered to take my tablets throughout.

Having had the Covid and then the little guy being sick I’ve missed a Festival and a couple of gigs, which is sad, but it is what it is, and look there are plenty more on the horizon, so next week will hopefully be my return to the local scene, and intending to bring the camera along, so at least I can update the website with some new photos 🙂

Andy Hekkandi of Swedish Sleaze Rockers the Trench Dogs at HRH Sleaze III in Sheffield, 2019.

I think all of this has taken a bit of a toll on my mental health again, have been feeling down again the last couple of weeks, it’s not been good, and I’d prefer not to mess around with the dosage of my medication to help with the effects. Hoping to meet up with friends later and that will help as long as I make it along to the gathering, meeting up with people and having a catchup and a laugh can’t be bad for your mental health. The medication has certainly helped me up till now, but perhaps it can only help with so many things at one time in your mind, I also need to get back out walking properly again, or back on the Treadmill, walking out in the fresh air helps a lot for me, and stops my mind wandering towards eating rubbish foods.

Anyway, as we finish off Feb 2022 and see horrific events on the edge of Europe the future is yet to be written, but all we can do is hope, pray and trust leaders to make better decisions to protect people

Lots of love and prayers to anyone affected by the events in Ukraine, I know I’m not alone in not being able to comprehend what you are going through in these crazy times. <

Balancing the Meds, the everyday stresses and strains, a new year and trying to make your World work better for you.

Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Nature, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

Well here we are in 2022, and what a strange messed up year 2021 was, it started with the same high hopes we have now for the upcoming year, the hope that Covid is reducing in strength and severity, and that we will soon be able to get back to a more normal or familiar way of living.

Once again we all have had to continue to embrace a lot of changes with more Lockdowns here in Ireland and many other countries, Working From Home becoming more the norm than the exception, everyones schedules being thrown off track, whether you are an adult or a child. schools reopening and closing again, and of course the newer variants affecting kids more for the first time. So a lot to cope with for everyone. Keeping life balance along with mental health has been even more difficult over the course of 2021. One thing is for sure I am not the only person to get to a stage where it all became too difficult to deal with. Glad that I didn’t continue to dig don deeper into the hole this time and bury my head, In August 2021 I took a big and important step and decided to seek some professional help rather then just try and fix it myself, and that was a wise move. Life’s stresses and strains, the loss of my mother (which if being perfectly honest I probably haven’t grieved properly for ye) and all of the stuff that comes with that, depression takes it’s grip, so I went to a Doctor and started working on it.

After trying some different things we decided to try medication, and personally it seems to be the path that makes sense for me, everyone is different and how it affects you and the type of person you are will have a lot to do with what is best for you. So now I’m taking two slow release medications, one for the Epilepsy and the other for Depression, the one good thing is that having taken medication for many years and adding to that with the heart meds, nothing is a surprise, just like the Epilepsy meds it’s all about finding the balance that works for you with regards the amount of mediation needed to help and make sure it works without causing any issues. Still working through that but there is no doubt that it has helped me significantly, I’m not there yet, but on a new dosage the last couple of weeks and it should be taking affect now. All I would say is listen to the experts, take the time out of work or whatever that you need to, don’t rush it or you will end up back to square one and that won’t help at all. Besides it does take time to find the right dosage for you, so keep working at it with the doctor/s and keep talking about it. Other things you may need to thing about are changing things in life that are not helping you to keep ahead of things, of course some changes will be more difficult, the younger you are and depending on circumstances , it may not be possible to change working, reduce hours etc, but if it would mean helping your mental health, you need to check out all the options, it’s of no benefit to anyone for you to be out for months anyway.

But the most important thing, if it’s all getting too much for you, go talk to someone, a friend, family, a GP or more specialised Professional, talking about these things isn’t as difficult as it seems when you go and do it.

So balancing everything out is very important, of course things can be a little more difficult when people can’t do their hobbies/pastimes that help people to relax. Personally I’m looking forward to 2022, admittedly with some trepidation as it didn’t work out so well in 2021, but hoping that we will get back to living our lives, or whatever the new norm is this coming year. The Music Industry has been hit so had over the last couple of years,, for everyone that works in it, fingers well and truly crossed that I get to see and shoot some shows this year, it’s a much needed outlet for a lot of people and has been sorely missed. One manage to get to one event in 2021, the This Is Not An Uprising weekend, and it was brilliant to see a couple of friends and safely attend a show, but it’s not happening over here at the moment and more Tours are being rescheduled every week (have never had/seen so many Gig Clashes before, caused generally by everything being rescheduled multiple times and ending up on the same nights) if things get back on track quickly this coming year will be crazy for Gigs everywhere.

Getting out for walks is still very important, so need to get back to walking properly now, has been a bit sporadic the last couple of months while trying to sort things out, but walking is good for the mind, listening to audio books, spending time in parks or gardens for some nice nature to change things up a bit, nice to have a different bit of scenery to the same Roads I’ve been pounding for the last couple of years. Still I managed to walk over 2,000 KM in 2021, which isn’t bad, will see how we get on this time around. Planning some more trips to the Botanic Gardens and further afield and will bring the camera along too.

Travel wise, well I’m already resigning myself to missing the first few trips of the year, but hey what can you do, when stuff gets cancelled, postponed or simply travel becomes so difficult it’s not worth taking the risk, there will be future Gigs, fingers crossed.

So wishing you all a Very Happy New Year and hoping 2022 brings us all more good stuff than 2021 did, stay safe and communicate, like the old add said, It’s Good To Talk……….

Here are some resources for Mental Health Services in Ireland, they are easy to find online these days in many countries and since Covid there are more online resources available like video course etc……..

Aware. – https://www.aware.ie/programmes/online-self-directed/

HSE – https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/1/lho/northdublin/mentalhealth/mentalhealthsucidesupportdublinnorth.html

How do you know when the fog is lifting……

Depression, Health, Mental Health, Music, Nature, Photography, Travel, Uncategorized

It’s been a very difficult and often confusing last few months on a personal level, that Fog of Depression fell heavily and it can have some very odd effects on a person, time can just drift without you getting anything done, even the most basic tasks can be started and then disappear into space. But hey, it is what it is and with some help and trying to get the right balance of medication we will get there. with a bit of luck and continuing to try and get something done each day we will get out of the mire.

Yesterday got out for a walk with the family to a wonderful calming place that I’ve mentioned before and National Botanical Gardens in Glasnevin, Dublin is that place for me, always has been, and alongside getting out for a lovely walk I managed to bring along the camera and take some photos, so a productive day, and with nature providing us with some beautiful colour at this time of year it’s a nice time to get out there.

My son bumped into some squirrel friends and a few ducks along the way and I don’t think we’ve ever managed to get so close to Heron’s and a Moorhen that hangs around in one of the Ponds, these are all things out in the fresh air that manage to clear the head a little and help you to feel a little more like yourself, I think I’ll get up early one morning next week and get down for a few hours. The little guy doesn’t normally take much notice of the wildlife around the Gardens, but he had a good laugh with one of the squirrels yesterday which was nice to see, and then he decided he wanted to get in a Mini Digger that the workers were using to clear out and area, can’t bring him anywhere 🙂

There is something though about being out in nature that changes the mind frame in a positive way. The quiet is generally only interrupted by the running of water cascading around, or birds rustling in the trees and scrabbling with ducks for some visitors scraps..

Really need to get the walking and diet back on track and alongside it the some of the other things will start to fix themselves. Sleep alongside exercise and diet make a huge difference, but when you are down in a hole it’s just so easy to fall off the rails a bit, or a lot, and not as easy to get back on track again when you do it. Wellbeing is a work in progress now, there is no doubt in my mind that the pandemic and issues that came along with it piled onto already strained mental capacity. What I would advise to anyone though is don’t just try and deal with it on your own, when you reach a point where you are no longer picking yourself up and feeling better by yourself, go talk to people, family, friends or professional, just do it, sometimes talking won’t be enough and medication will be needed to help you back up on the ladder, it’s a process and it can take some time, there’s not defining it to say you will be better in two weeks.

Currently, like many places in Europe Ireland is once again suffering from rising Covid cases, to an extent where our hospitals are again at full capacity and going forward it’s an unsustainable situation. Staff are overstretched and there’s clearly not enough of them to cover surges, illness cover for themselves or God forbid any sort of major incident that required a number of ICU beds, they simply aren’t available. So for the moment entertainment is back open, but for how long, I’m still missing gigs terribly, had to skip a couple last week, but fingers crossed will get to a small show this weekend, I know already that getting to live music helps me mentally, so if some form of events are still on I’ll try and get to them, but would definitely think again about Sold Out shows at busy venues, catching Covid isn’t something that would help at all right now. From tomorrow Thursday 18th November in Ireland Pubs/Nightclubs will have to close by Midnight, which will more than likely have a knock on effect on gigs planned for venues with Nightclubs, if a decision is made to not open the venues for Nightclubs they may also decide to stay closed, showing it’s still a very difficult time for Venues and Promoters, and of course for bands and workers in the industry. We can just hope that some sort of stability comes back soon, even though gigs are back in the UK and other countries they are far from stable, far from the way things should be and a lot of the time you don’t really know who’s on a lineup until you are there.

So far the new medication seems to be having no bad effects with the other medications I’m on, so that’s definitely a positive, the increase in strength is a balancing act much like my Epilepsy medication, so nothing I’m not used to and once it’s correct things should start to feel a lot better, fingers crossed. All we can do is keep working on these thing and look after our mental health as much as possible, it seems to be much more difficult in this day and age when it should in many ways be much easier, what a strange time we live in. But this week I’m not feeling quite so lost, let’s see if we can keep track of the days, as that’s definitely something that has fallen to the wayside recently, hours disappear into days, days into weeks and all of a sudden it’s nearly the end of 2021. Won’t be sad to see the end of another year which hasn’t brought much good to us all, but even mid November I look forward to 2022 and what it may bring, more gigs, better health and hopefully a World with a better way of dealing with the Covid crisis.

Musically, I have been to a sum total of one weekend of Live Music so far this year, with some luck 2021 will finish with me being at a few more and maybe even getting to shoot some of them, starting this weekend.

Shrapnel at This Is Not An Uprising in Firebug, Leicester.

Stay safe out there, even when you have been vaccinated you can still catch Covid, still end up in Hospital or very sick, so hand washing, wearing a facemask, whatever is in place, let’s keep on helping each other by doing it. In 2022 I’ld like to be able to travel to Gigs and Festivals again, in Northern Ireland, the rest of the UK and Europe if I can, it may not be easy. but lets be honest, life often isn’t that easy, but we get through it, so a bit more positive thinking may be in order to help us get there.At the end of the day it’s a lot more involved than just being able to travel to a venue, the festivals this year have been ravaged by losing so many US and European acts that had either made the decision not to travel this year, were unable to do so anyway, or the sheer logistics could not be figured out to make things work. Here’s hoping to an improved time for the industry as a whole, I’m looking forward to catching bands, but most importantly to catching up with friends that I’ve not been able to see in person for 2 years now. Even if that turns into 3 years, it will happen again and that will be some feeling.