It is so easy to let the mind wander back into space…….

To quote the title of a Ministry album “The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste”” and it really can be so true. Of course everybody is different and depression and mental health problems hit and affect people in widely different ways.For me I started putting this particular post together before Christmas 2022, and never made it to the end. My productivity just stops, disappears and this time around it took many months before I managed to get anything going at all. Unfortunately there is no magic switch, people deal with it in very different ways depending on what type of treatment they are on or if they decide to try and work through it themselves, what I always did myself until it became too much. Now I am on prescribed medication, but I would prefer to not increase the dosage beyond what I am on, so kind of a vicious circle, but in my head if I can’t work through it (even with help from meds) myself in some way it is pointless just numbing everything with meds…….. we will get there 🙂

So let me fill you in on some of the stuff I’ve been doing the last 8 months. Well I decided it was time to leave the day job and take a break, that’s extended quite a bit past what I had planned but at the same time my head hasn’t been in the right place for work anyway, so I’ll get back in shape a little and go find something less stressful to do.

I did manage to get to some festivals/gigs between August and November 2022, which were good, but the work on photo was very slow afterwards for the Festivals. There was HRH Sleaze in Sheffield at the end of August and Indoor Summer 2022 in Hamburg at the start of September, and gig wise I covered both Sepultura and Amorphis in Dublin around November time, which was awesome. Have a lot of plans this year, have started off really badly, but managed to shoot HRH Blues in Sheffield a couple of weeks back and I’m off to Uprising in Leicester next week, fingers crossed.

Photos are always a bit subjective, and for me this is definitely one of them, I both love it and don’t at the same time, I love that I managed to get a jump shot (something oddly I have had problems with over the last couple of years) but at the same time it’s not as clean as I’d like etc…….. anyway, it’s Christmas week (was when I typed this), so we will go with the love side of things 🙂

Pretty Boy Floyd – HRH Sleaze V 2022

Was great to get away and catch up with friends and colleagues, and the same was true at Indoor Summer in Hamburg, my first time visiting Germany and loved the Festival and atmosphere.

Lee Aaron closing out the Indoor Summer 2022 Festival.

It’s amazing being able to catch up with friends from all across Europe, including Ireland, when you travel to an event like this one, already looking forward to Sept 2023.

Grey Heron – Dublin Zoo
White Rhino – Dublin Zoo

We now have a standing visit to Dublin Zoo on or about the 29th of December each year, it is usually not crazy busy and we seem to have luck with the weather. Also it is certainly one of the places to see if you visit Dublin.

Andreas Kisser – Sepultura

Every time I get the chance to shoot a band that I’m a massive fan of it is a real privilege, and that holds through when shotting them for the 2nd, 3rd or whatever time. I’ve been listening to and going to see Sepultura for more than 30 years, so getting to shot them in my home time was something a bit special for me, similar with Amorphis and I’m forever grateful to Metal Planet Music (or whichever organisation I’m shooting on behalf of) for the opportunity to do so.

2023 for me didn’t start well, I just couldn’t get my head working, so the first 3 months were a bust, nada, nothing missed a lot of gigs. So as April started I was slapping myself saying right lets just do this, and I was determined to get going, and I have at least gotten started. Another trip to Sheffield this time for HRH Blues has helped immensely, ok, didn’t help my bum knee, but that’s a different issue 😉 Two days, 15 bands on a single stage, so not so much running around as usual. But getting to see new bands to me, working with friends and trying to get back into the swing of things was brilliant. Hard work, but brilliant. Tested out some new travel routes and will try that again next week for Uprising in Leicester. will just mean less working around and train time.

The Bad Day – HRH Blues VII, O2 Academy – 09-04-2023

Alongside that we managed to get a break in last week to Donegal, this time Carrickfinn, Donegal. Just beside the Airport, beautiful Beaches, stunning landscapes, all you could want, add to that it’s not too far from a lot of other places to visit and it’s hard to beat, the Wild Atlantic Way really is a stunning Below are a couple of shots from the wonderful Killahoey Beach, Dunfanaghy, Co. Donegal.

Killahoey Beach – Donegal

Wish me well with getting back on the horse and getting out and about a lot more, Have gotten a couple of album reviews written, but have 2 more to finish today, if possible. Nearly there, but as I have found out the problem now is that last little bot a paragraph or two that become impossible to drag out of the recesses of the mind.

Hope you all have a brilliant Spring/Summer, and whatever helps you with any problems make use of it, life is too short to live on the couch when you can be up and about…..

One of these days life will balance out…..

After having a brilliant time on my first trip to Hamburg last month and returning in a good frame of mind to get stuff done and get back on the gig scene with a vengeance, well things have not turned out as I had hoped, too many spanners in the works. Now I’m trying to get rid of my second bout of flu/bad cold in a month, and it’s really stopped me getting away on a couple of trips to gigs in the UK. It’s also held me back from getting back on the exercise trail.

Toxic Rose at Indoor Summer 2022, Hamburg, Germany

Sadly it’s snowballed a bit and joined in with the batch of depression that hit since I finished up in my job, this was supposed to be a nice relaxing time getting everything back in order and working on the returning the brain to where it should be. Not concerned that I won’t get there, but would have preferred not to have this added delay.

So I’m setting a little goal for this week – finish the next Section of my Photoshop Course, finish and submit a couple of reviews and catch up as much as I can with outstanding photos etc…….

Just when you thing that the balance should be returning your head has a habit of setting you straight on that, need to get out with the camera and get some shots of nature while the weather is still ok out there.

Hamburg, Germany

Travel plans are being made for some trips next year, fingers crossed things run more smoothly with a new start in the new year. We can but hope, start with the Mental Health improvements and work forward from there. You have to look after yourself and keep working on small improvements. So take care out there.

Changing the pace of life…… sort of

Having worked pretty much non stop for the last 34 years my mind had turned a lot since my health issues, the additional depression and the pandemic towards slowing things down, stepping away from the kind of work I have done in IT for more than 20 of those years and then working out if it would be feasible to do it and still be able to live and pay bills. When things change or an opportunity comes your way to enable this it definitely should ensure you give it the respectful consideration it deserves. For some people these decisions are easy, mark my words it wasn’t so easy for me, having worked in the same company for 19 years being part of the furniture can have it’s drawbacks, and in reality the thing I miss the most already is the people, the friends I have made over the years.

For me the opportunity presented itself this year and after assessing it many times I made the decision to step back from the job, and take a break from working altogether, a big step but the right one for me I think, also having a young child with additional needs it’s nice to be around the house more for him, and although I haven’t done enough of it, help out more. So right now I finished work one month ago and I am still trying to get my head around it, can be very easy to just get lazy and do nothing, far too much sitting around the house. Todays task is to draw up a schedule for the week to get my walking back on point, and just actually do some stuff with my time. It’s a trap I think a lot of people that retire fall into, thinking you can start doing stuff next week, that’s how Depression takes hold rapidly, and I am trying not to disappear back into that rabbit hole. So please be careful if you are in this situation or approaching it.

So for the moment I am semi-retired, taking a few months off and working on getting fit and my Photography, going to take some courses around Media and Design which should help with post processing of photographs, layouts for the website etc, well it should, so keep an eye open to some changes here in the next couple of months. Something that has been important this year has certainly been returning to the Photo Pit and getting to shoot some Gigs and Festivals, the recent dip has meant things have been a bit up and down, I had a brilliant week covering Festivals in the UK and Germany (for the first time) and then this week my head has not been right and I have ended up being at home with a couple of gigs I was really looking forward to passing me by. Got to try and get back on the horse next week and work on getting the consistency back in my mind, there is still a lot to come this year.

Alongside the dip into depression has come a lovely bout of insomnia :-). what else would you need when you are not feeling great, it is always the way though isn’t it.

Today I got my 2nd booster of the Covid vaccine, so that is out of the way, have sorted out a doctors appointment and all good there, next us is to organise some of my music trips for next year, as I think everything else this year is sorted out now. Can’t do anything about delays and flight cancellations, all I can do is have everything booked, show up on time to the Airport and pray, 3 – 4 hour queues to get into security at an Airport means they have to delay flights until people get through. I do find it crazy that Airports that have not enough staff to operate at full capacity are not passing information to passengers, for example in Hamburg Airport on the way back I was checked in, bag dropped and then had to leave the Airport to join the queue for security, they new I could not make that flight with the further delays getting through the security gates, but I knew there were a lot more people behind me in the queue that also could not make it, the PA announces Final Call for our flight and I start asking people is there anyway to fast track through security and no, just stay in the queue, although I was pretty sure the plane would be waiting as if we were not there they would have to remove all the luggage for people missing the flight anyway, but you stress as there is 1 flight a day from the Airline to Dublin, so you would need to rebook, if seats available, for the following day and also try and get a hotel for the night. Nothing seems to have changed in a year, certainly Airports around Europe are still struggling with both staffing levels and just coping with the surge of people wanting to travel as pandemic restrictions lifted with 3 years worth of travelling being squashed into 1 year, fingers crossed the situation changes as the current situation is good for nobody.

Maverick – Indoor Summer 2022 – Markthalle, Hamburg

As for the music itself, well that certainly made me feel a lot better, getting to meet up with friends I haven’t seen in so long, which was awesome. Getting to see bands and musicians you know as well and of course catching new bands or some you have wanted to catch for a long time. Getting to Photography both events was a real honour, and working in the Photo Pit with friends old and new always makes it an easier and more fun experience. With a couple of remaining Festivals this year having been postponed until next year I’m hoping to shoot some shows at home in the last quarter of the year, and definitely need to get gig fit, there’s more effort involved than a lot of people realise, you certainly ramp up a lot of steps during a Festival, 2 stages on 2 floors for 2 days means plenty of running around. Plenty or editing and work to do afterwards too, and if Reviewing a Fest it gets to be pretty tiring all in all.

Core Leoni – Indoor Summer 2022 – Markthalle, Hamburg

As time moves on we go from pandemic to recessions and economic problems, the energy crisis and continued threats of power hungry leaders creating misery and loss of life in places they just shouldn’t be. All we can do is help where we can and keep ourselves as sane as possible. Stay safe, talk to people is you need help or a chat and don’t stick your head in the sand.